Picture perfect

If I could paint a picture
To show you how much I care
I'd paint two small pictures
And put them on opposite sides of the museum
The space in between
Is how much I love you.

Adventure buddies

My heart goes out to you
I know not why
But it does.
It leaves me some nights
And begins the long trek
To join yours wherever it has gone or is going

Maybe
Someday
You will come
And do the same with me.

Internal battle

I am going to war
Against myself
And my own head.

Armed to the tears
Dawning armor of apathy
A helmet of pride
Boots of stubborness

On my hip,
A gun filled with with cartridges of forgettfulness
And all sorts of traps
Made out of human veins
Where hurt can be easily released
From my wide-open arms

Echo Chamber

To say that my heart resonates with yours,

Would be an understatement.
The more I listen or read your words
The more I want to follow you to the ends of the earth.


Even though I don't understand
And my lack of understanding hurts me
I don't blame you
I just want to run to you and sit by your side

It scares me.
Frightens me that my heart has chosen
Against my willpower
To follow yours.

Please...
Treat it gently.
It's the only one I have
And it has already been tortured and beaten before you got it.

Sometimes by my hand
Sometimes by the hands of others I have trusted prematurely
Against all odds and all sense,
I love you.

I know this isn't fair.
You didn't choose any of this
Or maybe you did
In some way that neither of us will understand for years.

I'm willing to wait around to figure it out.
Are you?

Depth

Today
I feel deep
As if my soul
Wants to burst forth
Out of my chest
And shake you by the hand
To comingle with yours
Exchanging
Colors combining
Into a masterpiece
A human work of art
Were I a paintbrush
I'd paint my soul
Across your face
Until you could see
What I see in you
Such love
Such passion
Dark beauty that churns
Boiling over
Flowing
Till I am swept out to sea
Gasping for breath
Drowning
In your blue eyes
I want to climb inside myself
And take you with me
Together
We will explore
The limitless expanse
That houses my love.

Gotta be

I lay my heart open
Thread bare
Holding nothing back
Vulnerable
Go ahead
Hit me again
...
Desperation
Weakness
Neither of which are ok
Ok in general
Just not ok for me
By me
For me
Of me
Neediness
Gotta be strong
Strong for me
Strong for everyone else
Not strong enough
Gotta be
Gotta be there for everyone else
Busy helping
Everyone
Never enough time
To look in the mirror
And realize you hate what you see
Never quite knowing
How to ask for help
Nor how to solve the problem
A flood of tears
Hiding behind a dam of glass
Held together by grass and thread.

Notes from a tired heart

... I got nothing...
Not true
I have too much
But none of it
Seems to want to come out

How do you vent
The exploding emotions
When there is nothing left
To draw from?
Exploding on the inside
Yet empty and exhausted
A paradox