Control

I was doing so well
Everything in its place
Stress and emotions
All handled with grace

My feelings for you
All packed away
In a cute little box
For them to rest and stay

Then you walked by
And smiled at me
Those pent up emotions
All bursting free

Once under control
Now I'm a mess
My heart yelling back
"You can't love any less"

Reflection

I am me...
There's just no getting around that.
Try as hard as I might,
I will never be what I am not
And yet
I would never want anything else.
So why do I sit here
Day and night
Trying so hard
To soften my harsh edges
To fit in that round hole?
Corners are definition.
They make me special
Unique.
Yet why am I surprised
Everyday
When they stare back at me
 In the mirror?

If one can't love themselves,
How can they expect anyone else to either?

Confusion: a haiku

I wonder sometimes,
Why I am the way I am...
I don't understand.

Blatent evidence

I give up
I can't get around
The fact that
The evidence is staring me in the face
I can't ignore it
It's there
Everytime
Every single time

Some days

Some days
It feels like I'm just annoying
Some days
It feels like I am simply a burden
Some days
I wonder why I have friends
Some days
I wonder what my friends see in me
Some days
I just don't care
Some days
I am too broken to make sense
Some days
My mind betrays me
Some days
The cracks show through my armor
Some days
I feel weak
Some days
...
Some days
I wish the day would end so I could go back to sleep
Some days
I wish it was tomorrow already.

Broken

Wham, bam, pow.
There goes my heart
Once beating loud
Proud
Reduced to a drizzle
A fizzle
That eventually went out.
Mood goes up
Then falls again
Down
Down
Down
Crash!
Broken pieces
Lying
Lacking strength
To put them back together
Forever
Lying broken

Leftovers

I see your face.
You walk on by.
You see me hurt
And make me cry.

The silent tears.
I feel them start.
Darkness rises
Breaks my heart.

The pain inside
All black and blue.
An empty hole.
The pain of you.

Grafted veins
Torn from chest.
Nothing left
Except your mess.

Bits of you
Stuck to me.
Open wounds
Continue to bleed.

Lock my soul.
A box of steel.
No more pain
If I can't feel.

Go ahead.
Show me how.
See you try,
To hurt me now.

Once beating heart
A subtle hum.
Stuck and lost
Remaining numb.